My Favorite FREAKS AND GEEKS Quotes

I believe in God, man. I've seen him. I've felt his power. He plays drums for Led Zeppelin and his name is John Bonham baby!
- Nick

The dance is tomorrow. She's a cheerleader. You've seen Star Wars 27 times. Do the math.
- Neil

You know who used to cut class? Jimi Hendrix. Know what happened to him? He died. Choking on his on vomit.
- Mr. Weir

I guess you'd prefer we listen to that punk rock music I've been reading about. You know those Sex Pistols? They spit on their audience! Yep that's what I wanna do. Spend my hard earned money to be spit on. Now that's entertainment.
- Mr. Weir

Does anyone wanna come see The Wall with me on Saturday night? Thought I might try an experiment. See it straight once. - Nick
Don't do it. You'll regret it man. Trust me. - Ken

You suck! "Dallas" rules!
- Bill

It's just LikAMade. It makes my spit taste like fruit juice.
- Millie

So hold on a second. They're called Santana right? But that guy who's singing is not Santana. - Nick
No. Santana is the guitar player. - Daniel
Then how did he get them to name the band after him? - Nick
I don't know man. Maybe he's just a bad ass. - Daniel
If that's true that's amazing. - Nick

How are things going at ass school? - Kim
Getting all A's! - Ken

Last time I had this much fun I was pinned down in a foxhole by the North Koreans.
- Mr. Weir

You're 14 years old and you still play with chemistry sets? - Sam
Hey nimrod adults play with chemistry sets too. They're called scientists! - Neal

What am I supposed to do with a porno? - Sam
You watch it. Over and over. - Neal

Three o clock. - Nick
Nah I gotta do something with Kim at three. - Daniel
Ahh how bout 3:01? - Ken
How about 3;15? I gotta fit in your mother. - Daniel
You're gonna sleep with my mom?- Ken
Mmm hmm. - Daniel

That guy's really into making guys shower.
- Bill

This is mission control requesting permission to rock out.
- Ken

It's just a lot easier to drum without fabric around my thighs.
- Nick

I hope I can still have kids! - Bill
You got hit in the groin, you didn't have a hysterectomy! - Neal

Screw you. I'm hilarious! - Neal
Oh how witty. Get this guy on Hollywood Squares! -Bill

You finally got your wish. You're as good a drummer as John Bonham. Of course he's dead...
- Ken

I just wanna be older so I can go to bars. Everything fun in this world happens in bars.
- Ken

Did you know that in some cultures if you're children shame you you're allowed to have them executed?
- Mr Weir

Don't play with that rooster! That's not a nice petty pet pet rooster.
- Toby

Last one to class, first one on welfare. Your choice.
- Mr Kowchevski

She's abnormal. She eats carrot sticks and she likes Miss Piggy. - Bill
So what? The Muppets are cool! - Sam
Swedish Chef is kinda cool. Miss Piggy is lame. - Bill

It's a little dark. We want to sell yearbooks, not tell the truth.
- yearbook teacher

She's cute. What's wrong with that? Am I supposed to call her Ms. or something?
- Mr Weir

This place is turning into a cult. These jocks they put a ball through a hoop. Whoopty freakin doo.
- Daniel

Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off and throw it over that fence.
- Kim

Who wants to be near you anyway. You're too sexy.
- Daniel

I'm gonna be a DJ, man. And maybe a lumberjack.
- Nick

Wait a minute. If I think I'm cool then people will think I'm cool too... But I already think I'm cool. But nobody else does.
- Neal

The welfare roles are full of video game players.
- Mr Weir

Hey Lindsay here's an idea. Why don't you break up our band so you can make out with Nick? Oh wait you already did that.
- Ken

Why do I need to go to a laser show when I can make my own ... in my mind.
- Ken

What do people do when they're not stoned? - Nick
I don't know, relate to one another? - Ken

I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Kroft concert last summer.
- Millie

Coco, this isn't the cafeteria from Fame. Uncle! Uncle!
- Mr Kowchevski

I heard Stevie Nicks is a witch ... She casts spells on people. I heard she cast a love spell on Lindsay Buckingham.
- Kim

I'm pretty serious. It's about time I had some supernatural powers.
- Kim

If I was such a prude you wouldn't exist!
- Mr Weir

Keep those boys away from your accordian.
- Mr Weir

What did ya think? - Nick
I thought I would hate it but I kinda liked it. - Ken
Really? - Nick
No, man, that was terrible. Lady L? - Ken
Well I couldn't use her real name. - Nick
You shouldn't use your real name! Writing that stuff! - Ken

You cut me off mid funk!
- Bill

Well you're certainly reliable. You're always a bitch!
- Daniel

Why don't you pick on someone your own size? There's a bus outside in the parking lot.
- Mr Kowchevski

I always say girl plus car equals dead animal.
- Ken

The Grateful Dead. The music sucks. The chicks are hot!
- Ken

He said my drums are interfering with my schoolwork. I think my schoolwork is interfering with my drums.
- Nick

Laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Get a woman laughing you got a woman loving.
- Harris

He thinks being the dungeon master gives him the license to mess with our heads. - Bill
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I should let you encounter kittens and grandmas so as not to upset you. - Harris

Friday night - always a good night for some Sabbath.
- Neal